Not Really Turkey

My vegetarian children are about to arrive for our usual non-traditional ethnic celebration of Thanksgiving which will, in the words of Gov. William Bradford include “no small comforte and rejoicing.” There are a few guys out on the driving range, either banished from the kitchen or avoiding clean-up detail, and Sue Ten is gearing up for the football crowd over at the Swing Barn.

I made holiday pies most of the night, selling them out the back door to those few folks who had the good sense to bring me their heirloom pie pans in advance so Aunt Martha can be happy to see the old filigreed BakeLite back in action for one more season. I don’t mind helping to spread the cheer.

Since both twins have pretty much stopped eating any kind of flesh or food that has a face or had a mother, we’ll be creative with our feast. I’ll still have a turkey breast with gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. Cranberries are a vegetable, yes? Just to be on the safe side, I’ll have a large glass of Bloody Mary mix. You might call it a Virgin Mary. I call it a Bloody Shame.

And for dessert, maybe something sprung from a Quiggle mold. (Quiggle also makes some wonderful molds of body parts and alien babies, but you may not be in the mood for that.)

According to the Quiggle catalog: “The Turkey mold is perfect for Thanksgiving. The Turkey mold is the size of a Rock Cornish game hen-because it was cast from an actual game hen. This mold makes gelatin turkey molds that show every bump, line and fold of the actual bird.”

Seems to me, if the mold is based on a Rock Cornish Game Hen, what we got here is a Rock Cornish Game Hen mold, not a turkey mold, but who am I to quibble with quiggle.

I do encourage you to see what can be done with a Quiggle ‘turkey’ mold, though, by checking out this website which showcases the winners of the prestigious Turkey-shaped Jell-O® Mold: 2008 Competition.

My personal favorite is the Turkey Twinkie Pumpkin Pie. The description says, “In this unerring portrait of the recent financial crisis, the Turkey Twinkie Pumpkin Pie enacts the specter of unregulated appetite.” This may well be dessert for the twins and me, once we’ve had our fill of dinner and had a chance to relax in the rockers on the porch of my turquoise conch cottage, down at the end of the lane.

Third Place Winner [by popular election] for “Best Overall Turkey”
By Rachel E.

And, I’ve got to say, I really like the S’Morkey a lot, too:

S’Morkey
Kumbaya, my turkey, kumbaya
Kumbaya, my turkey, kumbaya
Kumbaya, my turkey, kumbaya
O turkey, kumbaya

Winner, Campiest Turkey
By Jeremiah & Heather

But on to other turkeys that aren’t really turkeys, how about this paper one?

Make your own turkey - out of paper.

Make your own turkey - out of paper.

Again, I am sad to report that is is actually a chicken — not a turkey — but I’m not going to take our friends at Make Magazine’s blog to task on that issue. Enough of their commenters have already done that — which is the only reason that **I** know it’s not a turkey.

If you want to build your own, instructions are right here. Just print out the pattern, and have at it. And be sure to let me know how that works out for you.

So, if you, too, are having a tofu sort of holiday, but still like the idea of having a bird on the table, I hope you’ll take some cheer from Quiggle and Make. There are plenty of ways to meet that goal.